i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
