would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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