Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
