worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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