what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
