why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I bet he comes in French.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
