either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
