Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
