dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
