I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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