I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
