i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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