Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We're too hungover to prance.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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