trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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