There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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