the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
