Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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