I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
