I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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