I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
