Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
