i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
