put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
