Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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