He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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