Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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