Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
