Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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