Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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