hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
