he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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