Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
