i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
