96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
