i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
