Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
