He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
