I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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