i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I have tasted many bathrooms
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
