Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
