The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I have aggressive nipples.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
