I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
