dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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