I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
