North Korea, Best Korea!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
i think my cat just said my name.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
