look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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