i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
