Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
