i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
