i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
