I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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