Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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