I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
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