FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
